Brocoli-Illustre | Knowing the Art of Conversation | A gentleman lives to shine in company. He excels at conversation and the drawing room.
All are “equal” in company. Therefore, treat everyone equally, even if their interests differ. Shunning guests disrespects the host. You should admit her guests to your acquaintance.
You can politely talk to a stranger. A common buddy declares that two males are suitable acquaintances. Since they meet at a reputable place, this is likely. Matter hypothesis. However, custom requires that you regularly present to such a one as soon as possible.
Company conversation is big business. Artfully study it. Conversational style is equally vital and cultivable as writing style. Saying things well makes them valuable.
Constant attention is essential for success here. “Always attentive to the business of the scene”—Churchill’s finest virtue onstage—is also the most important in company. Your mind and body should always be armed. Never enter society mentally unfit. Distraction and absence kill success. Building on your partner’s comment is the secret to communication. The strongest minds, who have solitary habits and bookish dispositions, rarely thrive in lively colloquy because they focus on the object itself, the subject abstractly, and do not nurture verbal niceties and refinements. Otherwise, he obtains a reputation for speed and pleases by showing he has considered others’ observations.
Conversation is not just talking. Listening quietly is crucial. Mirabeau said that to thrive in the world, you must learn many things from people who don’t know them. The best praise is listening, yet flattery is the easiest way to succeed. “”The wit of conversation consists more in discovering it in others than in demonstrating a great deal yourself: he who exits from your talk satisfied with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well delighted with you,” writes La Bruy,re. Most guys like to please rather than admire you and want to be praised rather than directed. Pleasing others is the sweetest.”
Convincing others of your worthiness is proper. However, the best gift you can give a guy of your penetration is complete awe.
Patience drives society. Lucky people listen, wait, and get tired.
Good breeding necessitates that a foreigner at a dinner party or small evening party speak only in his language. Even with your closest friends, never speak in a language only they understand. whispering.
Never enquire about a private matter in company. You signal that the rest are too much. If the topic allows, explain your inquiry to others.
If a visitor joins a conversation, clarify the topic.
Be careful with epigrams and sarcasm if you don’t know somebody. A man whose father was executed could find your halters humorous. Know your company before talking.
Another similar rule is to not talk too well. If you amuse someone while wounding his self-love, you don’t impress them. Listeners tire of wit and narcissism. Witty men are pleasant acquaintances but boring friends. “”The meanest person in the company is the wit, next to the butt,” adds Mrs. Montagu. As in whist, if the elder hand plays the deuce of diamonds, his neighbor should not dash down the king of hearts because his hand is full of honors. I don’t like witticisms.”
Always look at the person you’re talking to, and if there are several, direct a story or phrase to each one. This was Sheridan’s charm. His bon-mots were few.
Conversation requires current news and recent history. Being so far behind the globe in such areas is inconvenient.